i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Everyone says I win the strip club
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
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