called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
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We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
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I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
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