peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
You are a genius and a whore.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
