Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
