I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
