I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
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