I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
