for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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