You're so nebulous sometimes
Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
i think my cat just said my name.
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