i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Randomize
