He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
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