Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
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I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
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Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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