why im i the only drunk person in the library?
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
