she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
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