First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
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id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
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"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
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