Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
too bad you live with your parents still
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Randomize
