i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
My breasts were aching with rage.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
