so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
