Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
