i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Randomize
