we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
