I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize
