My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I wish you could order shots online.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
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