I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
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