I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
