but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
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