yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Randomize
