That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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