So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
where are my pants?
in the oven.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
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