I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
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