id be glad to
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize