THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
