ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
