yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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