I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Randomize
