She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Randomize