And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
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