in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
