Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
she told me i tasted like america
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Randomize
