Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
if only i could text you this smell
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
