I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Randomize
