Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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