when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
