Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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