Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Randomize
