She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
