How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Randomize
