I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
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