Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
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