i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
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