meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
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