I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
pop tarts are not kleenex
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
