atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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