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whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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