There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
