My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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