if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
