This girl is more easily done than said...
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
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