so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
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