We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
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