omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
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