capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
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Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
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