She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
