Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Randomize
