If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
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