This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
