I'm really into asian looking animals
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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