It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
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I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
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Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
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