i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
