And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
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True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
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