We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Randomize
